"NIGHTMARE"

July 13, 2017

 "The malign tumor that has been taken out of my body has left some kind of ghost behind... it torments me continually, as if showing me how angry it became for being destructed."

This was the beginning of a letter I wrote to HORIYOSHI III on February 11th 2017.
I was spending a few weeks alone in the country house, trying to get some rest surrounded by nature and quietness after going through 6 months of chemotherapy.
The letter ended in a much different way than it started, and for me the very wish to write him a letter was a sign that I was entering a new stage of my healing process, for only a few weeks before this was literally unthinkable.
I couldn't imagine myself being able to write down my feelings and thoughts in a coherent way.For too long I felt insecure, hesitant and disconnected.During that time I was frequently having nightmares.
A few days before writing this letter another nightmare woke me up around 3am as usual.
I lit a candle and laid in bed alone staring into the emptiness trying not to think.
For some reason I thought of HORIYOSHI III and started seeing images of Kanjis floating around me,as if they were being written on air by an invisible hand. 
And this is how I saw the first images of this hoodie, as a piece of clothing covered with sacred japanese calligraphy protecting the wearer from all that is evil.
The calligrapher was HY3 and this was the opportunity I had waited for for so long.
I don't know why but I've always had the feeling that we should do something together and many times I had to control myself for I knew it would be premature and foolish of me to follow my impulse to suggest such an idea.
It would be easy to be guided by aesthetics only and also meaningless, there had to be something else connecting everything.
The nightmare was a voice telling me:
-Write a letter to HY3 and invite him to do this with you, it's time to rise back up.
I did and he accepted it.
This piece of clothing symbolizes the beginning of my mental,physical and spiritual recovery.
My deepest gratitude to master and friend HORIYOSHI III for his wisdom, vitality and kindness.


Jun Matsui



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